Minor Update..

A week after my last post I went back to Kuwait. It was GREAT! (Greater than Tony's super crunchy and great tasting Frosties!)

Everything seemed to be going smooth and sweet.
I got a job, I actually demanded to buy my own car instead of relying on la familia. (BAD DECISION).

I haven't been posting anything since. I thought I need to sink into the society to re post. I'm still here. I got a story for EVERYDAY that passed by. My only problem is.. I don't get people!

It's like I can easily blend, but I always manage to ask myself: Are they normal? Is that right?

Reminds me of a quote..

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, it changed!

I can't seem to think straight, but my only refuge now is work. I've ended up being a workaholic! Me, out of all people!

Sour!

There is something about this commercial!
You know it's successful when by the end of those 30 seconds you start tasting sour!
I'm simply speechless.
I don't know how they came up with it, but I think it's genius!

Yemenite Troupe

I have been listening to this song a lot lately.
I am not quite sure why but I like the tone. GREAT MUSIC
Performed by the Yemenite Troupe. They are a yemenite jew folklore band!
Half of it is in Arabic and the other half is Hebrew. Kinda cool. What's special about it is that they are doing it live infront of the camera..

Too Late?

Yo peony whats up.
School sucks for me but I'm sure you did not think I forgot now did you?
I really don't know if this shit is mandatory or what but Ima doit just not be the party pooper.
Sorry for the delay, Yes I'm that important (not really, school sucks though).


A Available or single — relationships suck!
B BestFriend — My friends are all dead and buried, sometimes I wish the sun would just explode..
C Cake or pie — gur9 e3gaili
D Dance or exercise — I can't dance to save my life..
E Essential Item — Anything that covers the bottom portion of my body.
F Favorite color — Black & White (maybe Gray)..
G Gummy bears or worms — gummy bears! (All the freaking way).
H Home town — Y-City (In Kuwait).
I Indulgence — Kuwait
J January or February — Feb..
K Kids — Have no purpose, they smell like sour milk, and I hate that freaking crusted booger above their lips..
L Life — is a beach..
M Marriage — is another way of castrating a person (if done right)!
N Number of siblings — I got a few
O Oranges or apples — Both!
P Phobias — Invertebrate.
Q Favourite Quote — “If all else fails, go crazy and punch people” - ANON
R Reasons to smile — It's Free? (I usually do it for no reasons)
S Season — Summer!
T Tag 3 people — I Tag nobody
U Unknown fact about me — I'm a real good public speaker.. (I just discovered that!)
V/W Worst habit — Smoking!
X/Y Your favourite Food — Mandi (I've been hanging around a lot of Qatarese lately)..
Z Zodiac — AQUA (whatever valentines is)

My work is done.

Pretty Fly

I like that they're trying.
Plus they got heart for actually doing it outside the showers!
Enjoy.

Weather is good, people are not!

I was watching the weather news on al arabiya, not that I care how hot it is anymore since its ungodly everywhere, but the weatherman's "mullet" had an entity of its own! Something about a storm in elrub3 elkhali? Bs lel7en el "mullet" mal ooma da3i!

And this "medium-well" news anchor is wearing his father's suit! Way too large buddy.

I think it sucks that I'm watching this network. What really makes you actually give a damn about anything anymore is being broke!

Shit, I guess I'm eating noodles tonight (since I blew all my kharda on shit I don't really need), AND no coke... lemme flip to al arabiya...

جماعة تسعى لتأسيس جمعية للحد من تبادل القبل في جميع أشكالها why not?

الفلسطينيون في حالة فقر لا سابق لها بعد أربعين عاما من الاحتلال

سبعة جرحى في انفجار في حافلة ركاب بسدّ البوشرية شرق بيروت

El7emdilla 3ala kel 7al.

EVEN THOUGH I LIKE TITS!

The following TOP-SHELF post is courtesy of Al-Arabiya (the news network that lacks news).

For those who do not know, I am both Muslim and straight (among many other great things).

MOVING ON.

So you are working in a shared office. Your only coworker is of an opposite sex. Islamically speaking this is called الخلوة المحرمة. So far, so good.

So is there a way to avoid "sinning"?

YES THERE IS!

This is where my tit bit comes in handy.

Male employee gets off his desk and lock the door (I would only assume privacy is preferred).
Female employee then whips out a titty (one is OK, two is just milking it).
Male employee then assumes the position and starts sucking on that tit five times!!!!!

In accordance to:

د.عزت عطية رئيس قسم الحديث بكلية أصول الدين بجامعة الأزهر فجر مفاجأة حيث أباح للمرأة العاملة أن تقوم بإرضاع زميلها في العمل منعاً للخلوة المحرمة، إذا كان وجودهما في غرفة مغلقة لا يفتح بابها إلا بواسط أحدهما.

واكد عطية لـ"العربية.نت" أن إرضاع الكبير يكون خمس رضعات وهو يبيح الخلوة ولا يحرم الزواج، وان المرأة في العمل يمكنها أن تخلع الحجاب أو تكشف شعرها أمام من أرضعته، مطالباً توثيق هذا الإرضاع كتابة ورسميًا ويكتب في العقد أن فلانة أرضعت فلانًا.

What's worse than thinking it is saying it! What's worse than that is publishing it!

And this is where I lost my sanity. I have always thought that two wrongs do not make a right! Now (ba3ad ma khar'ha MAWLANA) my perspective on things has changed!

For years I thought a female was a PERSON, now it appears to be she is but a pair of tits on a meat popsicle!

If the screen was not fucking with my eyes AND I still can comprehend Arabic correctly, then that sounded creepy! So would someone tell me what happened to courtesy? Did it just disappear?

Did they not put any consideration regarding the awkwardness of the situation in the long run?

You cannot suck a coworker's tit and later be casual about it! There are certain protocols accompanied with it!

PLUS: What does he call that woman from there on? 7abeebty? yumma? Do they exchange numbers? What happens from there on?! You cannot act as if nothing happened!

3ala sheno his PhD. hatha? 3ala 6al ib 3aina.. Shal fatwa elsamja? I have been questioning al azhar's basic decision making skills for quite sometime, but this is the last straw. This is where I draw the line.

Who in their right mind would suggest that? NOBODY! Then what drug made him utter those words in one sentence?

Female: Mawlana I feel uncomfortable working with a man at my office.
Mawlana: Bo9i ya benti, inty t6ala3i sidrik wetkhalih ye7lib. (I shall not choose other than yi7lib since his so-called fatwa seemed more appropriate for cows!)

Is he taking his "target market" for granted?
Who would even believe that crap?
I am telling you; telling a lie like this to one's face is just as bad as spitting on one's face then farting on it!
Disgusting is what it is!

In conclusion, I do not think this "Fatwa" is correct due to its absurdness.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I love tits but this is preposterous!

retro hyundai

Now if I can only find an abandarado commercial!



هايونداي السيارة الحلوه من مؤسسة جمعة الماجد

B Aggressive!

This shit is TOP SHELF.
WATCH IT!

Weekend

After few PS2 "WE" matches. We started flipping channels. Suddenly we hit the much disputed Melody. I didn't know it was melody but then Haifa happened wearing her good ol gomlag. (Freaking attention whore).

So we started asking each other, how the hell did we go from REAL art to this intellectual brothel? (da3ara fikriya - Nice sa7?). And what kinda people are smsing these channels?

Were they old and horny?
Am I wrong for not understanding the basic motives behind smsing or even watching that degrading crap?
What if it was a youngster?
Ma warahom ahal erabonhom?

And then we figured it out! That was Freedom of Choice! Unfortunately, many don't deserve it. (Atleast the people watching those crappy music gold digging channels).

Much to my dismay I must make the following Public Service Announcement:

Dear TV "Smser"
If you send these msgs and you are above 16 - PLEASE roo7 et3alaj.
If you were a youngster 16 or younger - Please roo7 dawirlik 3n ahal erabonik basra3 wagt momkin ya wer3.


What happened to courtesy? Did it just disappear?

And now I proudly present to you my favorite Musical Video Clip(s):

I Wanna ROCK!

Avis commercial.
Smart..
I wanna rock performed by Twisted Sister



Oh, and they do try harder. Unfortunately, they're not everywhere.

Starburst

Suddenly Starburst became an instant impulse product!
This maybe due to their latest TV Ad.
I can't even begin describing how much I loved it!

Bismol

The following statement is true.

The Preceding statement is false.

Brought to you by: Sticky's Sponsorship Funds.
For a better life click here.

makes you think..

Tag:

1- never slept more than 24 hrs!
2- got the ability to shut off from all surroundings.
3- have an ambition of growing my beard till my belly and dying it with henna.
4- still wanna be a cop.
5- can sleep anywhere! Literally.
6- look at things differently.
7- own four alarm clocks two of which has two different alarms.
8- middle finger "imkha9ar".
9- would taste any food item, atleast once. (except reptiles). Maybe snake.
10- don't believe in "phobia".

Check this out - Walla it's worth it!
I loved the old days! As I recall.



The Question was:
What would you do If you "had" a superpower.
I liked the "Hardcore Salmiya Fan" - Who said we didn't have hooligans? :P

What Happened?

I might be out of date. Matter of fact men zman wana da2a 2adeema.. shako?
But right now I'm watching an Anime Movie.
Karas: The Prophecy.
It's crazy. The good kind!
I know someone would actually watch it based on this recommendation.

END

Coming Soon.
As requested by her.

E*Trade Super Bowl Ad

I really found these ads to be smart, funny and amusing.

A Brief Explanation of Life

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" asked Alice.
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the cat. "I don't much care where," said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the cat.

-Lewis Carrol, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Update - 6afshan!

I woke up few hours back to Queen's I Want It ALL!
I kinda miss school.
Weird? Not totally.
I've been bored.

Right now I'm listening to: Siki Siki Baba by Ferdi Tayfur while in the process of searching for a band called "Sala6in el6arab".

So how bored am I?
Lemme give you a hint...

Spring has Sprung.

After many class projects, right on the verge of finals, we had few days of break.
I utilized it by making it the beginning of my Spring Break/Mardi Gras!

Few of my friends and I were pretty convinced that we maybe able to take those 3 days off to party (NOLA). We did..

Parades, beads, boobs and booze (for those of you vulnerable to alcohol).

What about my Midterms? Yeah, I gave up on studying!

Anyways, I did good (7emdilla).

The weather was rather weird, it was freezing then they told us to watch out for tornadoes! Next day it was officially SPRING!

Since that day I did nothing but doodle, read and play DS. (Oh, I also did some "spring" cleaning too!)

School's back on Wednesday though. WHERE THE HELL IS THAT TORNADO WHEN WE NEED IT?!

Speaking of Spring, I guess I'll just leave you with Ol' Blue Eyes.

Spirit Journey Formation Anniversary

Deep within the wall of time, a creature thus be born. See the mighty united with the egg of tyranny. Check this force within the womb of life for three-quarter but night yeah, The creature thus be born. The creature thus be born.



You can't have birth without death. It's the duplicitous edge which we all walk upon.

Salaam Bombay

This movie is great. Wiki.
Kama Sutra was good too.

NOLA Revisited

Well hello there friend,
Couldn't help but notice you bored and browsing.
Well we're here to help.

I'm in French Quarter, NOLA.
Right about now I'm in my retro, cobalt blue, three striped Adidas shorts in bed.

Just done writing and power pointing about: The value of Global Brands and its Social Responsibility to a Region's Culture. (I think I'm Ace when it comes to projects). GRANTED, its mainly focused on the Middle East.

The reason behind this post is to help promote a new Blogger.

I think, next to mine, his blog maybe the best online:

He is one of the reasons I like Anime and Cheesy Filipino Films
(By that I mean Far Eastern Flicks, including BUT not limited to: Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, Hong Kong-enese and other Filipino regions.)

The Author: A brother, roommate, friend, partner in crime, fellow sushi abuser and an obsessive gamer. He's best known for cooking the best Pasta, Nukhi and Accidental "Yeresh".

Ladies and Gentlemen bow your shoulders and pretend to be serious. For I shall present to you: SALMAN (ROCK you like a Hurricane).

P.S. Since this blog isn't a democracy and since by being here you're automatically subject to following my direct orders, I order you to visit his Blog. (Based on Article 9 Passed on Nov '06).

P.S.S. For every time you don't visit I shall kill you.

To err is human; to forgive, Divine.

So I wasn't in the "mood" to blog while being "Ass Raped" (Midterms).
The way I see it; when your only fate is to be fucked - might as well ENJOY!

I can't but be inspired when seeing a smartly administered despicable Ad campaign.

If you've been reading my blog enough, you'd probably notice how much I have regard for Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Earlier today I was watching my morning news (1:00 P.M.). Police found what resembled "Bombs" in strategic places scattered around the City of Boston.

To make things short, in the end they found out it was nothing but an Ad campaign for ATHF's upcoming movie. I think it was a real smart campaign, I like it when the little things create a big HOO-HA.

Now the City of Boston is demanding an apology from Turner Broadcasting. Which happens to own both ATHF of adult swim of Cartoon Network and CNN that made a HUGE deal out of it!

P.S. The character displayed above, err, also happens to be featured as my user icon on flickr.

Further info here and here.

Animals

I love animals!
Ivan the Terrible, 1st Czar of Russia, thought he was personally anointed by God to be the Ruler of Russia. He also enjoyed torturing animals as a kid.

I love fishes, mice, cats, cows, sheep, monkeys, peaches.. Wait peaches are fruits. Native to China too, Nihoa! But back to our subject. I want to start by giving few fun facts about Animals.

• A 'bitch' is more likely to bite you than a male dog. (No wonder they call her a bitch).
  
• Cows have 4 stomachs. (That's like how many hot dogs?)
  
• A zebra is white with black stripes. (Isn't that supposedly politically incorrect?)
  
• Sharks are immune to cancer. (FIND THE REASON AND THE CURE, please!)
  
• A snail can have about 25,000 teeth.
• A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (I so wanna be a pig!)
  
• The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (I think I once knew a praying mantis.)
  
• Abalones are a type of snail with five assholes. (If all else fails, start ripping people more assholes than an Abalone.)

Now, you know what I used to really like?

Mice, I loved feeding them to the piranhas! That was long before I vowed not to kill any animal, unless I'm going to eat it.



Fun things to do with mice:

1- Watch them swim, (its legs move like turbines.)
2- Scare them shitless, LITERALLY!

Notice how we scared that poor animal until it shat it self!
So, does that mean we scared it shitfull or shitless?
But back to my valuable pointers!

3- Feed it to the Piranhas!



If you never seen a delicious mouse being grotesquely devoured by a school of piranhas, you're missing half your life. A very fun experiment. (R.I.P. Mouse!).

P.S. That was long before I vowed not to hurt anything.
P.S.S. Some animals were harmed in the making of this post.
P.S.S.S Never EVER name an animal before killing it, it's just gonna make things a little bit complicated.
P.S.S.S.S. Don't ask about my childhood.

random

Does not being offended by anything means that you're a weaker person with nothing to stand up for?

Or does it mean you're a genius who couldn't care less of what other "unimportant" minds think?

Maybe it's because you're so self-centered?

Surprisingly I rarely EVER get offended, the way I see it is (No matter what is being said): "This person is striving for attention! Or maybe just trying to get me to lose my temper which isn't gonna happen."

Yep, that's my defense mechanism in action.

Ah, Whatever..
When in doubt I always go with this: "He who don't know the way will be lost, he whose lost will eventually find a way."

OK my Lebanese friend said it, I couldn't imitate the accent for shit so I translated. It makes much sense to me really. I also had the weirdest conversation on lunch last night, Would you lick the armpits of someone you love? short answer is NO!

I've also been jealous of that gay dude who desperately wanted to prove he's gay he actually showered with a 100 girls over a period of 1 year. JUST TO PROVE IT!

I wanna do something like that and make a documentary on it!

Speaking of documentaries. I've stumbled upon one called "The Aristocrats". About an inside comedian joke that has many versions. It's basically an offensive, dirty, grotesque joke. (My type of humor.)

This website has a wide range of aristocrats jokes.

There's this Ad I found. DAMN! I loved it, I mean its creative and coming from ze russians it means a lot. Although I'm not sure if its an actual ad or a parody..


I also do think that CBM on MBC is a disgrace. What kind of funny is it? It's not at all funny!

I think I can do a better job writing a show while a chimp acts it out!

Why do we strive to do sketches that aren't working and disgrace ourselves and the brains of viewers? That show has been on for few years now. It wasn't funny then, and aint funny now! Why don't anyone do something about it?

Are there some brain dead bastards out there who actually fancy it? Thats just weird yo.

Speaking of weird,
There are people out there against the execution of Saddam!

Search for any documentary by Kanan Makiya, AN OUTSTANDING REPORTER! He's been on the ba3th's tail since the mid 80's!

If, after watching what that bastard did as chronicled by Kanan, you still against the way he was hung.. You definitely deserve to be hung (and pissed on by me!).

MOFO killed babies! (as much as I thought that'd be funny in a way) NOW I'm against it.

KILLING BABIES IS HEREBY CONSIDERED UNFUNNY!

Ok, what am I doing now?

I'm sorry to say that right about now.. I've far more important matters to attend to.

I'm outty 3000

H2O

Being a marketing student, I've often been told that we can sell anything. With enough creativity & convincing, us marketers, using the right methods of approach can in fact sell any product. Don't let me start with things we don't need, after all, EVERYONE owns things they don't need. Being a marketing student, I ALSO, managed to comprehend the importance of presenting & packaging.



Now I understand that water, h2o, is a significant need; it's essential to the protraction of life on earth. I'm all for the reshaping and customization in the process of bottling. As a matter of fact, being able to sell consumers a homogeneous good for double its price due to the sole fact of putting it in a different package IS PRICELESS.

I'm sure some would like to claim water as being heterogeneous, but had I had the power of persuasion; I would easily sell you tap water for triple its price only if I convince you it's from the mist of Avalon. The sad part: You'd like it. Why? Cause it's all the same.

Nevertheless, I'm extremely devastated by the fact of producers who ruin our water. Telling us stories about how tap water would ruin our kidneys and not in these words. Better yet, they manipulate the pure H2O and add chemicals to it; They claim to specialize it!

Baby's water, Flavored water, water with "essential minerals", Calcium water and the list goes on. Even Coke and Pepsi produce water!

Normal Water should be pure, transparent and uncontaminated.

Baby's water? I won't even waste energy on commenting on that.

Flavored? Water with sugar and chemicals?

Essential minerals? It's a given, You CAN'T take credit for things you should contain and/or have.

Calcium? Water already contains calcium, at least it should! But with extra calcium, over a long enough period of time, you'd end up walking with your very own dialysis machine. (CUTE!)

Better yet, How can you trust the water of the same people who sell you drinks that EXPLODE with Mentos?

The way I see it, Don't let them bullshit you with chemically infested water. Don't indulge them to ruin what's once was pure and clean by supporting them and buying their dirty water.

Help keep our water clean.

Today's The Day

My dreams are all dead and buried
Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode
When God comes and calls me to his Kingdom
I'll take all you sonsabitches when I go

Billy Joe Shaver

Weather? FREEZING BALLS!

Kuwait's National Team?
Sucks Balls! (They really can get away with joining the Special Olympics - Fucking Retards!)

School?
Busting my BALLS! (Finance midterm tomorrow - NOT the friendly executive style "Calculator" Finance, I'm talking Knights Templar style! They're going Medieval on my ASS!)

Surprisingly.. Never mind..

I'm outty 3000..

How Long Can You Get Away With It?

TITLE: How Long I'm Willing To Hear/Read About Your Pet Depending On How Hot You Are.

AUTHOR: ME YOU IDIOT!

THESIS: Some people can get away with long mindless uninteresting conversations solely based on their good looks.

OVERVIEW: Statistics and probability an important part in our lives and are particularly useful in helping us make wise decisions. This study would help readers see how the study of probability can effect even the time I'd be willing to spend with you on a certain subject.

PURPOSE: This study would help implement some of what I've learned in earlier research classes and presents a fascinating summary of the way my "Attention Span" works.

OBJECTIVE(S): Readers will be able to:

1. Know how long they're allowed to speak of pets to me based on my scales-of-beauty.
2. Understand how instinct has a major role in time rationing.
3. Recognize how UGLY Sara Jessica Parker is.

RESOURCES/MATERIALS NEEDED:

1. Paper.
2. Pencil.
3. Black Marker.
4. Camera.
5. Eraser.
6. PowerBook G4.
7. Internet Access.

ACTIVITIES AND PROCEDURES:

1. I've counted the times I had to talk about a person's pets.
2. I've roughly calculated the length I've conducted in such senseless conversations.
3. I put two and two together and decided: It wasn't worth it.
4. Naturally, some people deserve more time depending on their charm/looks.

TYING IT ALL TOGETHER: After a brief amount of time I've came up with a chart that best explain my attitude towards pet-owner's conversations solely based upon their looks and features. I've chosen the xy Scatter Chart as a format due to its simplicity and clarity. I would also like to note that YES, I'm an ACE when it comes to excel but it'd be much more authentic to do it by hand (More time consuming too)!

The Chart

CHART KEY: (To explain on what basis I've chosen them and their time!)

Jocelyn Wildenstein

GOD DAAAAAAAMN! MY EYES.. I'm BLINDED! That lady fell out the ugly tree and hit a branch on her way down! Her middle name is ACCIDENT! She gets chased by the villagers AND got a job application from a haunted house! You know you're ugly when you make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt! Even the circus wouldn't take her! What can I say about her that haven't been said about hemorrhoids!?




Bette Midler


C'mon,
I know she's ugly.
YOU know she's ugly.
Even, SHE knows she's ugly!
But I do like her. After all, she's the one who started the myth about how the "Bra" was invented by a guy called: Otto Titsling.






Sarah Jessica Parker




OK. Is it normal for a horse to talk to you about her pets?
That's what I thought.








Lindsay Lohan



"I've got like the cutest puppy in the world! It goes like *arf arf*, OH MY GOD! *giggles* OOPS my boobs just slipped."

Yeah, she'd be as boring and stupid as SHIT. OK, 16 minutes max!






Uma Thurman



I don't care what others say, I still think Uma is one gorgeous female. She can talk to me about her pet for 2 whole hours. Then I'm afraid I'd have to ask her for the next best alternative: Slice my ass with your Hattori Hanzo!






Keira Knightley




Anyone who looks like Audrey Hepburn, minus the weird brow, deserves a day in my book.








Mila Javovich



I wouldn't mind if someone as good looking as Mila talks to me about her pet for that long.






Natalie Portman





L is for a LIFE TIME baby!









Penelope Cruz


If you look like Penelope, I love you.
My heart aches every time I think of you. I'm actually learning Spanish right now:
"Que pasa kalabaza? atención novia La policía! Donde estes mi pantalones?"
I can rot in the ground being skull fucked by worms 6 feet under and you still be going on about your pets. I wouldn't mind none.



P.S. The chart featured in my intensely thorough and descriptive study is up for sale to the highest bidder! (Plus Shipping and Handling). (See why I did it by hand?)
10% of your purchase will goto: Union of Nasser's National World Fund Federation Coalition for Poor Nasser. (UNNWFFCPN).

• Dedicated to L.

Chris Columbus Meets Toyota

This is a commercial I've just discovered. (Well my friend just showed it to me). It's my kind of advertising! Aggressive, blunt and lethal!

[Video 01:00]


If I had a thing to add to its perfection it'd be goons sent by me to potential buyers who'd "motivate" them on their purchase.

P.S. For all of you wondering, Chris Columbus is the director of "Home Alone".

THINAMAGOOP!

The truth is I'm a technology whore. I try to follow up with every device there is (Key Word: TRY). I may not know how they're made or work, but that's why I've got engineer friends for. Upon my quest of surveying new means of technology that might help humanity (or maybe not). I've recently found the THINGAMAGOOP, an irritating robot of Bleep Labs.

Video [01:41]



A small hand held synthesizer that is noisy and sensitive to light. It's portable, loud and battery operated.
I found that I've simply no use of it, since I've no rhythm!

This is a great device for remixing music and/or pissing people off.

P.S. Use it around me and you're getting SLAPPED!

I Rarely Watch Any!

Some of the phrases I hear on semi-daily bases may go a little bit like this:

* Eh "dogg", you gotsa watch Prison Break you hurrd? That shit's real, know what I'm saying?

* Dude, you have to watch Weeds maaan. Holly Shit, it's AWESOME!

* You know the beauty of LOST is everyone has their own little story going on. And that fat dude, MAN, he's one hell of a character! (BTW, when casting, they added the fat dude and told him to be himself. He wasn't even a predetermined role, he made a helluva an impression).

* 24 7ada 3ajeeb. A7la mn LOST, ana a7iba akthaw. 6aweeqta tkhaleek mn awal 7alqa tendimij. Waheeb!

* Nip/Tuck is like the most disturbing show on TV! I can't believe they take it that far, I'm hooked!

* I can really relate to Grey's Anatomy, reminds me of the days I was an intern at Al-Amiri.

* Carnivale is not just a circus story! It's much deeper. Suddenly, you're in the middle of an ordeal between God & Satan! (I really liked few of its episode, I'm planning to watch IT!)

* Oh MY GOD! The OC is LIKE great! OH MY GOD, LIKE, Ben McKenzie is like HAWT! OH MY GOD!

* Boy, you must watch Band of Brothers. See our troops kill them communists. These colors won't RUN!

* My Name is Earl is smart. It's funny too.

* CSI! 3ajeb! (I've seen an episode once, made me think twice about killing my roommate).

* The Sopranos is great, It's so realistic! (How do you know? Have you had any affiliation with the real mob?)

* Sex and The City is my favorite show. It's like us, 4 girlfriends hanging out talking about sex and Jimmy Choos.

* The L Word is just like Sex and the City! Except its gay! (Now that's a show I'd want to get into - I like watching dykes!)

* You should watch Desperate House Wives - they're wives and they're DESPERATE!

Ok, I can't relate to none of them! I haven't seen any! I feel left out.
Why? Only because I don't like burning my nerves waiting from week to another to see a new episode.

OH, Why don't you buy a DVD?
Well, my naive friend, it's because I refuse to pay that much!

Then Why don't you download it?
It's illegal! Duhhhhh.

On top of that, I borrowed Weeds from a friend. GREAT SHOW, let me rephrase that, A MASTER PIECE! But I did come to the conclusion of: "Ma an3a6a wayh".

8 freaking hours watching the whole season in one day!

Way to go Nasser.

Happy Things!

In response to enigma. BTW I feel like a 3rd grader writing this!

Things that make me happy (besides money):

Double D Silicon girls doing jumping jacks and/or jogging!
Good music.
Traveling to weird places.
Getting lost in weird places.
Being Free. (Meaning NO JAIL!)
The Beach.
Long discussions at night with friends.
Peeing when I REALLY need to go!
My gadgets (and getting new gadgets).
Meeting my people in Kuwait.
My beard.
The Crippler (AKA Goliath).
Driving at 2:00 A.M. Alone, preferably on The Gulf Road.
Accomplishing my goals of world domination ( I like playing RISK).
Babies crying!

Crap Movie!

Here I am lying down on the verge of retirement to bed, when I saw the following trailer:

(I refuse to embed the actual trailer since I don't support it)

Jack the Ripper 5 Victims, The Zodiac Killer 6 victims, Gustave over 300 victims AND STILL AT LARGE. Primeval In theaters (some fucking time soon).

I was so excited! Popped out my Mac and IMDBed it. (Yeah IMDB is a verb in my dictionary!)

Who the HELL is Gustave? And how come I haven't heard of Him?

I was intrigued at first. I love reading about serial killers and their mentality, motives, drives and prime reasons. On top of that, the story takes place in South Africa, one of my most favorite places on Earth! (Great memories).

* Shaved my head in a flee market (out in the open, amongst the commons).
* Offered sex by an iAIDS infested prostitute. (The i stands for instant! Just add dick).
* Been attacked by a red arsed Baboon (Just like in Abha).
* Sneaked out my hotel room at 2 A.M. and went to their Red Light District & attended a late show at a Porn Theater. (I was only 16).

But Back to Gustave.
Apparently its a 6 ft. Crocodile. And I haven't heard of HIM due to the fact that don't care about any "ebrai39y" regardless of its size!

Basically, the producers knew their movie was going to be so crappy they had to lie about it!

Hell, if that gator was in Louisiana it'd be long gone by now! All it takes is a redneck with some hunger drive! (I guess the way they see it is: Don't let dinner eat you!)

Yep, some people here wrestle gators for fun! I, my self, am proudly scared shitless of them!

To Whom It May Concern

This is a public notice in general and to the self-proclaimed "H." specifically.

I refuse to write and/or speak of teeth since I'm Straight. Teeth are for gay people that's why the tooth fairy come and get them.




I also would like to take the opportunity to mention that I am, in no way, against gay people. (So long they don't try to convert me). But I do understand their high demand in chewing large masses of gum.

I'm also against the on going plaque conspiracy created by the Zionists and Western Europeans. Since they sell us good chocolate to ruin our teeth and buy themselves bullets to kill our people in the Middle East. On top of that, they create a demand for useless professions such as Dentistry. (Sometimes I love the classic Arabian: "Everyone is conspiring against us" theory.)


Fine, The fact of the matter is: Since I was a 16 Y/O, I've developed a serious case of Dental Phobia; due to a past experience with a Butcher, erm, Dentist.

End of Public Notice.

Valuable Sacrificial Pointers

Who doesn't conduct the occasional Sacrificial Ceremony?
After all, we all want the intermittent soul feast from time to time.

But when sacrificing, it is important to remember:

- Virgin blood is best.
- Goat blood must be no older than 3 days.
- Entrails must be removed and apportioned either before death, or no later than 30min.
- Candles must be sorted by tallest in back to shortest in front - never the other way around!

Most important - Pentagrams must be drawn from the center to the outside and left to right.

So go ahead, fulfill your prophesy and make sure all humans suffer eternal torment.

Courtesy of: Doom

Extreme Diet Coke & Mentos Experiments

Unlike anything you've seen.

Are you ready to be astonished amazed and even slightly amused?
Are you ready to witness Mentos and Diet Coke as you've never seen before?
Are you ready for a journey of a life time?
Are you ready for me to stop typing?

Well then see what happens when two, with lots of time in their hand, mix 200 liters of Diet Coke with 500 Mentos Mints. [2:57]

New Year?

So what's the purpose of the "New Year"?

I think it's a multi-national/multi-billion corporate scheme to sell calenders, get people to buy watches, have B-days and get into Astrology bullshit.

People showing off with their stupid "Farside" calenders and PDAs marking things, making "plans" just to make themselves feel "important".

Speaking of The Farside, Gary Larson, you're "far" from funny, please give it a rest!

And since when did "going to the hairdresser" (or whatever you, people with hair, call them) became a "plan" that deserves to be on a "calender"?

And don't get me started with birthdays. Next thing I know some dumb fuck comes to me and goes:
"LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm a Capricorn! I'm practical, prudent, ambitious, disciplined, patient, careful, humorous and reserved too!"

I can't tolerate this bullcrap, I say:
Hey dude, be a practical fellow go find a large cactus and ambitiously sit on it. When doing so, please be patient, careful and disciplined about it. I know it might hurt, but do laugh about it in a reserved manner.

The way I see it it's just another day.

People, Tomorrow comes today and today is just like yesterday. (Isn't that song?) What I'm trying to say is: Don't put much emphasis about senseless teenage stuff (unless you're a sorry teenager of coarse).

One last thing, if you thought 2006 was bad, wait till you see 2007. ENJOY!

P.S. Damn you Doctor Aloysius Lilius for creating such bullshit!