I just woke up after 2 days of sleep, feeling as Fresh as Today's Headlines.
The weather was beautiful. It was simply sunny and warm. 5 minutes later.. It became a bit cloudy.
Speaking of cloudy, it really gets to me when I'm reading a novel and the bullshit author suddenly has the urge of wasting a whole chapter of his book, my life and my precious time to describe a fucking cloud.
"..and so the cloud cluttered caressing the sky as a huge piece of white shit in the sky bearing warm rain like transparent piss."
So it started to rain. No, It's a thunder storm. Wait a minute, it's hot again.
And so I got the flu.
Which brings me to my favorite drug. To hell with Marijuana, Hashish, Cocaine, Hallucinogens and Heroin. When I get sick I do the christmas drug. Either Green or Red. I do NyQuil. The moonshine of medicine. The only drug known to man that actually tastes like Red & Green.
I, now, never take my chances with sore throat. Every time i neglect my sore throat I end up having a bad case of infection that can't be fixed but with Anti-Biotics. Since I dislike doctor visits, I seek my only refuge, NyQuil an over the counter medicine. After doing few shots of that thing I'm good to hibernate.
Last thing I remember since writing this was two days ago sipping some of that Red & Green. Now, I hear many things had happened during my sleep. My roommate was freaked out because I woke up with a rough voice as if I just hit puberty, TWICE. He claimed I actually uttered the following:
ME: Tukfa Fahood, gola e6awilni bo6ol elmay. He then responded: "Meno?" ME: Hathak elee wagif yam telephony, 7akeem elaqzam.
Right after my outrageous outburst, I hit another shot of NyQuil & went back to sleep. He, Fahad, freaked out because he just done watching the exorcist. He thought I was possessed by some demonic spirit. I was, it's called NyQuil and it's one hell of a drug.
Main Entry: au·tumn Pronunciation: 'o-t&m Function: noun Etymology: Middle English autumpne, from Latin autumnus 1 : the season between summer and winter comprising in the northern hemisphere usually the months of September, October, and November or as reckoned astronomically extending from the September equinox to the December solstice -- called also fall.
At school we used to learn enough about the seasons of the year. Sadly, in Kuwait we never got to witness but: Summer & Winter. I my self haven't seen anything as beautiful as Falls in Louisiana. Those photos were took by me yesterday.
Mashalla I saw all colors on those dying trees. I actually thought one needed photoshop to create something as beautiful as that.
The fact that those pictures were took over at my friend's own backyard is priceless. Imagine waking up and looking over nature's own piece of colorful classy art. You may see the complete set of pictures I took over at my friend's on my Flickr.
P.S. Please excuse the bad quality of the pics, since I haven't my digital camera and I was only using my camera phone.
One of my friend's is about to be blessed with a child, he was discussing with me names he wanted to call his future son: Laith, Haytham, Lo2ay or Sameer. 6ab3an elasami "alla bel khair".
What caught his attention was me laughing when he said: Sameer. Offcoarse, to my misfortune, Sameer happens to be both his brother and his grandfather. So he wanted an explanation..
The following events took place during 1998 or 1999:
To this day, I never can help but snicker when I hear the name "Sameer" and/or "Sameera". Perhaps it's by reason of some of my childhood memories. Fa6oo6a and/or Majalat Sameer.
Back in the "Pre Low Weist Era A.K.A. ayam eljahiliya. I used to wear pants that went all the way up to my nipples, but that's not the subject. I remember I had an old raggedy Siemens phone, (I've always been an Anti Nokia Enthusiast). Let's not get into unnessecary details. I've received a phone call from Sameera's Friend (SF for short):
RING RING
Me: Aloo.
SF: Aloo.
Me: Na3am?
SF: Momkin akalim Sameera?
Me: Nemra ghala6.
CLICK (mo ela tgool asfa 3al ez3aj).
After two weeks, I've received another phone call:
After few days, I think SF estanisat 3ala elwath3.
RING RING
Me: Hala?
SF: Momkin akalim Sameera?
Me: 9abrich ya roo7, inty lel7en mo mestaw3iba ini mo Sameera?
CLICK (This time it was on like donkey kong!)
I went to our Dewaneya. I explained everything to my friends. I asked to call that number and ask for Sameera. At that time I was but a young misguided teenager. Lets not forget to mention that I also had a bad case of: Napoleon Complex, Not to mention my on going cases of both OCD & ADD.
For a whole week, everyone I knew back then called SF. Cellphones, home phones, baqala phones. Even the pay phone elee kan 3ind jam3iyat el-Shamiya!
After I gave her a taste of her own medicine, I called two weeks later.
If you're familiar with Seinfeld, you're definately familiar with Michael Richards AKA Cosmo Kramer.
Recently Mr. Richards went crazy on a stand up show. He started throwing racist remarks on an "African Americans". Apparently He was interrupted by an "African American" while on stage performing. Offcoarse that didn't help his, washed up, career at all.
KKKramer's Racist Video:
Kramer, being a Hollywood celebrity, had to apologize on air on Late Show with David Letterman:
Unfortunately, black celebrities rejected his apology claiming:
* Its the pussy way out to do it on Letterman.
* He should apologize at the apollos.
* Go back to the comedy club and apologize from there.
Commencement:
"One man's misfortune is another man's gain."
Kramer apologized, "African Americans" are satisfied, Entrepreneurs made $$. Happy Day.
UPDATE
Paul Mooney had something to say about the "crisis" on Fox News.
Last Friday I was at the movie theatre. All of a sudden, fire alarms went off. Our town's theatre is a humble eight screen building. As I was getting ready to withdraw I imagined hell would break loose. I tend to think of many people as being, somewhat, dramatic especially Americans. Then again, I'm the mellow type. So as I crossed my aisle I imagined people running over each other some would scream, others stomping each other & probably even few looters here and there.
To my surprise, people were unruffled & calm. Every occupant in the building moved towards the nearest exit in an orderly manner. It took the whole packed movie theatre to be evacuated within 2 minutes. That was enough time for two fire trucks, two ambulances & six police cars to appear.
Fortunately, there were no losses. A movie reel simply caught fire. Sucks for the viewers at that time, but hey, shit happens & thats a fact.
The situation had me thinking, WHAT IF:
What if, hypothetically speaking & God forbid, there was a fire in a building in Kuwait?
How would people react? How soon would 300 - 400 people evacuate the same building? How promptly would the Law Enforcements, Fire Department & Ambulance get to the scene?
* Last accident I had in Kuwait was in the 5th Ring Road, near Salmiya, It took the PO almost an hour to show up. (ma3thoren kanat 7azat ghada).
Final Thoughts
* When, God forbid, you think you'd soon be in an accident or there was a vague possibility of you being a victim of the circumstance in Kuwait; Make sure you call prior to it. Try to schedule a rendezvous (if you will), see when they're free and try your best to delay your misfortune for when it's appropriate for our Men in Beige, The Few, The Proud, The KWPD.
OFF TOPIC
* It's Turkey Day today. I refuse to call it Thanks Giving, only because I'm not quite sure what are they thanking for exactly?
Is it for killing a bunch of Apaches and stealing their land? Or for landing on Plymouth after departing from Plymouth?
+
What type of thanks is it?
Is it the: Thank you chump kinda deal? or I'm sorry I killed your people and stole your land but thanks anyway?
Anyways, my concern is that everything is closed (apparently everyone is a bit too thankful), and I'm hungry as hell (and its only 2:00 PM).
I've recently attended the new Will Ferrell movie, Stranger Than Fiction. Being a big fan of Will Ferrell I knew it would be a good movie. The story was surreal and smart. Will's performance was as outstanding as ever. Eventhough I wasn't moved by the ending (I hoped they kept the original), I thought it was in fact a good movie.
The Plotline: An IRS auditor suddenly finds himself the subject of narration only he can hear: narration that begins to affect his entire life, from his work, to his love-interest, to his death.
The mixture of stars in the movie was excellently blended: Will Ferrell, Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman & Queen Latifa (only if you want to label her as a star).
Will appears in a rather new style; while his sense of humor is as great as always, this time it's rather mellowed out a bit.
I related to the movie since I was once as "em3aqad" as the typical accountant. Obssessed with counting steps and tiles. 7emdilla I got over it.
If truth be told, I've arrived last night, but due to the fact of 3 consecutive days of no and/or little sleep, I had some catching up to do with my beloved sofa.
Our trip was a compensation for our long awaited "Eid" trip, which had to be postponed ascriped to my other "mandatory trip".
We stayed over at Hotel La Salle. I'm a frequent guest at La Salle; unfortunately, its like an old horror movie where everyone would die before dawn. We booked using Travelocity.
I think their Ad campaign is tremendously wonderful. The cute and funny Gnome helping his customers dearly and all.
WRONG!
The Gnome did nothing to us. As a matter of fact, we had to wait in the lobby for his highness the gnome to find us a room. After 6 hrs of waiting, calling the 1800 24/7 number and not asking for much (only a fax to be sent to the Hotel), there were no results. Travelocity, in fact, did let us roam alone. The Gnome never fulfilled his gaurantee, nor did he save the day!
Sean, La Salle's General Manager, sympathized with our ordeal and decided to give us our rooms for free. (Kesarna Kha6ra).
There were no major highlights in our trip. All I can say is that I was power napping (somehow people do not relate to me when I do that and end up calling me Bangali for doing so). My friends decided on it and I ended up riding with them.
The Group:
RED (A big dude with a lot of heart, never imagined him being over protective).
Moe (Another big dude with a big heart). He was kidnapped. He went to grab food at 6 A.M. & two black dudes jumped him and thew him in a car. They took him to the ghetto & at gunpoint they threatened to kill him or get his money. His response? FUCK YOU, KILL ME. They were surprised so they started explaining that it is not in his best interest to die. His rebuttal: If I gave you all my money, I won't be able to grab my breakfast. So you guys better take me to "Krystal", there I'd order my food and you guys steal whatever is left. When asked why? He simply stated: If they were to kill me they would've at that place and time since there were no one around.
(Had I been one of them assholes I would have shot Moe with no remorse, but they did take him to krystal! Later on they ended up taking his money and leaving). & (Had it been me, the victim, I would've took no chances. Matter of fact, I would have peed my self and cried my eyes red.
The "shell shock": Moe enjoyed his time to the max. Yet, there remained a part of him that is still stunned within.
NAB (Our very own hustler, He is the only person I've seen who can actually get his money back from anyone - This includes, but not limited to: Other hustlers, Street Musicians, Restaurants (after finishing up his meal), Street bums & Beggers and The people who kidnapped Moe & stole his money).
Frank (Strangely he can manage getting away with paying less than the retail cost in franchises!) Franks actually went to a franchise and checked the tag of something he actually liked. He then decided to give the clerk half of what it costs. She looked at him and said but sir its $30.00. With a smile he goes no, I'll take it for 15. Then he slipped a dollar in her front pocket as a tip & walked away!
Last but not least: ME! I've harrassed every Cincinnati Bengals Fan in the French Quarter on Sunday. Right after the game, which we (The New Orleans Saints) lost, I started seeing loads upon loads of happy Bengals fans on Bourban Street. So I started being the sour loser who shouts: YOU JUST GOT LUCKY!
The Place:
* French Quarter, New Orleans, LA * Mainly Bourbon Street.
Things We Saw:
* A couple of black cops beating up a skinny white dude infront of his GF/Spouse with a baton.
* 60, if not 80, year old Prostitute. After asking me if I was interested in having a good time I started to advise her to do something for her after life. I explained how she is still "young & beautiful" (7adi ga3 achathib) and how she (urgently) needed to give God ATLEAST what's little left of her life. I wasn't pointing at any particular religion, I just think its time for her to retire o0 etoob or something!
* People getting naked on the streets. Some are drunk others are simply exibisionists.
* A syrian shawarma place in Bourban Street. When I went in and emphasized how much I liked his joint when I visited 3 years back. Note: The people with me are first time visitors to that place. The syrian false witness was like: EH 3ALA RASI. DAKIRKOM ANA. Wa hal yakhfa elqamar?
I looked back at my friends with a smile, They were hand signaling me to "amasheeha" or "shut up about it". Unfortunately, me being me, I started: Int laish na9ab? Shako tchatheb? gool ma tathkir or ma t3arefna a7salik ya3ni etc..
He started stuttering o0 beda esaweeli feha ina kan ga3ed ejamil. (after a brief arguement, I managed to get a free falafil sandwich out of it).
This may not seem much, but falafil costs around $10.00. (FREE STUFF = GOOD SHIT).
