Harry Potter and Tiger Woods!

I found out that there are some people who protested the idea of Harry Potter!

That wizards and magic shouldn't be pop!

I agree.

I think all magicians should be banished.

Including the ones who pull rabbits out of hats.

You say coin behind my ears, I say punch your face!

I never liked the Harry Potter series.

The only two characters I liked were:

Hermione Granger

(after puberty of coarse - She sure mesmerized me. Charmed me. All that crappy magic annotations about her being pretty and whatnot. I love how they grow up so fast. And she aged well too.. (khalfala 3alaina teshawahna ba3d el morahaqa))

I even switched from Aves to 360 to look at her Burberry poster.

I reckon that 13 years is a fair gap.

If I was rich, or younger than. HAHAHHAHAHAHA

and

Hagrid!

(I love how they openly portray a wizard pedophile within the whole series so casually! Everyone knows but no one speaks of it. Just like how everyone knows that Kanye West is gay and no one wants to admit it! And do not try to defend that guy because even without his beard he looks like he likes 8 year olds!)

Then I tried to defend Harry Potter. I said, it could have been worse!

(And I am not trying to be stereotypical, BUT...)

I imagined The Omani Harry Potter. (7arris S. Mu6ar - S. Stands for S3eed since all Omanis are S3eed - so yeah S3eed is his middle name)..

The type of magician who doesn't need a Magic Wand.

The type with goat feet and blood red eyes.

The type who'd separate husband from wife.

The type only needs: Bukhor Yawi, deer's blood, an ignorant rat's tail, piece of T shirt ,and a 4 by 6 (khalfiya zarga) to party.

The Voodoo type.

Now that is one movie I would watch over and over and over and over.

Deep in Salala, where houses are built overnight and sa3af is the main means of transportation.

I like how people portray Salala as a Black Magic's Disney Land!

I've never been there but I think it is a pretty place from what I see on TV.

Though I do not believe media, I hardly believe the hype about people flying warlocks.

Some guy even described me a creature that lurks in Salala after 1.

He was trying to explain why people do not leave their houses late at night.

As the picture became vivid it appeared that he was describing a dragon!

I asked him TININ!?

Ya enik ghabee o 3abalik betgazerha. Aw ana ghabee w ent ga3ed tgazerha!

He said: La Mo Tinin! Esamona el mil7as!

(I swear he gave me some weird naming I can't even remember but I will go with mil7as since it sounds close and exotic)..

I say: Omik Mil7as.

End of friendship..

You don't get to call someone's mama names.

You have to earn it.

Which I do not understand..

How about not calling someones family member anything?

You can't call someones mama names when you see them for the first time. Which brings me to this..

I hate it when people point out the obvious.

Like: Did you notice how all cars have four wheels, And all tables have four legs!

Must be obvious day in camp stupid!

Then there are those smart asses.

A car has 5 wheels!

You counting the spare?

Oh Oh Oh, you smart, you caught me!

Some actually would write a thesis about it!

See that is the double edge of a pen. Which could be considered a Modern Magic Wand for the sake of our post!

When you give someone a pen, there is a 50/50 chance.

50% that person would be very productive with it.

50% that person would draw a cock on your forehead. Metaphorically.

That is why the use of pens as weapons was developed in the first place.

Someone was basically shitting with ink that some annoyed smart guy stabbed that someone with their own pen.

Matter of fact that has been done to smart penners too.

When did they start doing so? I cannot figure that out.

Can you poke someones eye with a penna (feather)?

I don't know. I'm asking!

And why the hell are people so fascinated by Tiger's Apology!

Are your lives so empty you are interested in some golfer's apology for cheating on his OWN WIFE!

All that matters is for him to apologize to his wife, and for the cash he got, she'll forgive!

Plus I was glad to hear about "the scandal"!

I have always thought he was Gay and his wife was a cover up like many politicians did.

I am relieved he cleared things up.

I mean not that I care, but I just thought he was too fruity for a black guy, and most thai men are ladyboys.

Someday, my friends, Thailand will have 0 Population Growth.

No wait some Kuwaitis are doing a great jobs maintaining a healthy population growth over there.

Never been to Thailand, heard good stuff though.

I always fancied activities that includes pingpong balls and vagina!

But I am glad He cleared things up..

That is one less dick to worry about! (SICK BUT FUNNY)..

And What about the public?

Fuck the public!

They freaking enjoyed the news or else it would have not made it there in the first place.

Tiger Woods apologizing for his sex scandal is like Barney apologizing for taking off his faggy purple suit!

Just like psychologist claim that is it bad for kids to see their favorite character our of a mask for it would result in shock and betrayal, the public saw Tiger without the mask and were in shock and felt betrayed!

YOU ARE HUMAN! YOU DO WRONG!

But since he apologized, I'll tell you that much. I'll only accept it if it was cash. Reimburse me Tiger, I was hurt by your Scandal!

It does not take a genius to figure that much out. People make false idols out of celebrities. They have always enjoyed doing so! Then when that very same celeb fucks up! All hell breaks loose!

I think Tiger should have not apologized.

However, I do think Gillette should've.

For 14 years it has been contributing to making my cheeks smooth, but they shat where they ate, nevertheless.

How? You might ask..

The Curse of Gillette!

So whose next? I would say Yassir but he was cursed before Gillette.

So, Yeah..

Harry Potter Bad, Omani Harry Potter Cool, Pens Sometimes, Tiger Woods Fucked Up, Literally, Lucky Bastard!

I could have tweeted that post too! Dammit!

Oh well.. Too late to erase it..

P.S.

Please do not plagiarize my twitter, or use my hot fire one liners in your future posts because I will rip you a new one when you do. Consider this the first, last, and only warning.