Boredom is a Helluva Disease!

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

By 19 I've done it all. By 23 everything else happened.

Now I'm almost 26. I've been bored ever since!

The Chiquita Monologue

I do not mean to be cynical, who am I kidding? YES I DO.

But how come everytime I goto a Persian "baqala" and ask for a "moza" the guy instantly asks: MOOZ?

Try it, it works! EVERYTIME.

They got me buying bananas from every baqala I pass just to prove my point!

I'm not trying to be paranoid, but are they doing it on purpose?

Speaking of which, isn't honking at a baqala guy to bring what I want kind of degrading? Especially if he was over 70?

Is it not a type of forced slavery?

There have been wars over bananas in the past.

So try to refrain from honking at a baqala!

The Silent Listener

No really I'm loud,

But I am no Dr. Phil. Yes, I shave my head, I am not bald though!

However, I think people are mistaking me for him.

They keep laying relationship problems on me like eggs on easter.

I love this girl, but she's bla bla bla... (SHUT THE FUCK UP).

I do not know what to do about that yada yada yada... (SILENCE! In a James Earl Grey tone with a posh British accent).

I do not mind if people start laying their problems on me. Honestly, I want to help.

But somethings are almost unsolvable.

Speaking of which, can you justify cheating just because everyone else is doing it?

It's like watching retards fucking, just because it's funny.

Sure it's funny, it's perverse too!

PLUS, GIVE ME SOMETIME TO DEAL WITH MY OWN RELATIONSHIP!

Speaking of which, during the past year, the closest I got to a real relationship was a facebook profile, better yet a phone call to Hala Watani 801801.

And she keeps telling me I'm broke too! BITCH!

HOW TO QUIT IT!

The question was running through my head faster than a stampeding herd of angry oxen (metaphor).

So you just won a million?
How would you quit your job?

I thought:

Take a picture of my bare butt with the words: I QUIT, (SIGNATURE). Right under it.

Or maybe,

Stand on my employer's desk and piss: I QUIT! On his carpet.

My friend told me I won't quit, I work for the governmental sector. I'll go to my job whenever I want, (khal yakh9em kether ma yabi) he said.

I did not know that there was a NO FIRING policy in the governmental sector.

What about you? What would you do, career wise, in case you made a million. (Assuming that a million is a large amount).

In other news:

I'm trying to update this blog thingy, just like the homeless, I'm demanding change!

It's been a while and I need help.

If you're up for it please drop me a line here.

I know many of you breath blogs and stuff.

So hook me up with tips, suggestions, and minor technical help.

I Need Talents!

I don't think I will ever be able to justify dancing in the middle of a street or a mall wearing only a pair of socks.
That's why I will not do it (anytime soon). Unless I reach a whole different level of craziness, which I have failed to achieve (so far).

But if there was one ability I can develop it would be: Staring at people dead in the eyes and making their heads explode.
I know I can make something handy of that skill.

All in a Day's Work

Ramadan Work Hours:

9 A.M. - 3 P.M.

Nasser's Version:

10 A.M. Take the G.M.'s Parking Spot (Which literally has "6weel el 3omor's" name on it).

Start my P.C. at 10:15, I was socializing a bit with my colleagues.

Shut down the P.C. at 11:30.

Without excusing my self, I left at 12:00 P.M. Again I took my time socializing. (Being popular is a curse).

12:30 P.M. In bed till 5:45 P.M.

P.S. I work at a private sector company!

Please Don't Stare!

I like going out.

I also like to eventually grab a cup of java.

I like driving around with "no-goal-in-life" listening to my favorite tracks.

The thing I do not like is how people here stare at each other.

Everyone has that "despised" look on their faces.

I do not understand why people here have an attitude problem.

Big Daddy loser walking around with no accomplishment in life, thinking he's the best thing that ever happened in this country just because his mom thinks so along with his idiot friends.

Part of the reason I'm noting this common epidemic is due to an incident that took place sometime today.

Usually, whenever I'm out, the ratio of men to ladies in a place is 100:2.

While around 80% of the guys instantly assume that those two ladies fell in love with them, I sit back and enjoy the subliminal moves, messages and stares they throw at miss thing and her partner.

Sure, this really pumps some confidence to fatty, but the general order in Kuwait is: "Ma7ad e6ee7 ib chabd nafsa/ha".

So back to the lady incident that took place earlier today. While waiting on my order at the nearest Starbucks, speaking of that, Is it me? or is the line at Starbucks way too long, as if they're spreading their shit for free?

So yeah, while waiting, I accidently backed on some chick.

I immediately turned around and apologized.

Next thing I know, Bitch looks at me as if I was small! Rolls her eyes at me as if I was flashing!

See I did not expect any reply from her. I did not ask for an "it's ok.."

I specifically apologized to avoid her hostility!

Stuff like that makes you not want to leave your house!

But I guess it is safe to say: Common courtesy is not so common in Kuwait.