Last Minute Christmas Gift!

It's NEVER too late!

Christmas?

I don't celebrate it. I don't feel the spirit. I think it's because I'm not Pagan or maybe I'm just an exact replica of Ebenezer Scrooge, AND I LOVE IT!

In all fairness, I do celebrate June 9th, but that's not the case.
If you think your Christmas sucks, wait till you see Little Carl's Christmas.



Bah, HUMBUG!

SANTA'S COMING TO TOWN!

Ever since I came to study in the States, my enthusiasm towards significant occasions has indeed declined.

I mean when you wake up 1st day of Ramadan and/or Eid only to attend a midterm; you'd start loosing the spirit. Off coarse, had my faith been stronger, it wouldn't have lessened my emotional attachment to those lovely days.

7emdilla though, things have changed ever since I was incarcerated most of Ramadan & Eid. I ended up loving everyday so long I'm free. I mean let's face it, yale (Jail in Spanish), it's a MOTHERFUCKER!

Ok, I'm partially over that experience, which leads me to Christmas. I don't celebrate it, nor do I celebrate Easter or Thanks Giving for that matter.

Yet, today, I had a strong case of Jolly Christmas Spirit hitting me.

I was walking out my 6 P.M. class, consumer behavior, when I saw a fat hypocrite posing as the fat fuck Santa is. He was taking pics with students sitting on his lap. I wasn't sure why they did that since we all agreed that Santa doesn't exist after the age of 10, but hey, I was watching.

Suddenly two nubile coeds approached Santa and sat on his lap. My jaws hit the ground. I felt like an animal, the way I was lusting, staghfurallah. I fell inlove with their smart brains at first sight (here you go feminists, now get off my back!)

Now I don't believe in Pagan Holidays, but I can't resist the urge to get involved and get my piece of action.

My new scheme is to make my very own Holiday, "since I can't pose as a fat senior citizen due to my hunky features and young age".

Offcoarse, every holiday has a certain date.

I decided to set June 9th as the day I shine.*wink, wink*

I shall be sitting on the beach, celebrating summer in my swimsuit. Everyone is most welcome to take a picture with me, so long you're a female of a legal age and you won't press charges.

There shall be a special Jingle made by me for me that would be sung all over the world on that day:

You better not shout
You better be dry
You better not doubt
That I'm a great guy
Nasser's coming to town

I just can't wait!

P.S. Please try to refrain from labeling me as a "Chauvinist", since it's a french word for Patriot derived from one of Napoleon's finest soldiers: Nicolas Chauvin of Rochefort.

P.S.S. Deers will be replaced by Dolphins, Elves shall be substituted with Lucha Libre Midgets and the theme colors of my spectacular occasion are going to be Brown & Blue.