In Heaven We Shall Meet..

It is very hard to keep somethings inside.

At some point I need a person to tell what is bothering me.

But what if I do not have that person?

What can I do when there is too much inside and it cannot be vented?

I think I should just wait until I explode.

I never meant hurting anyone, but I recently did.

I might not talk to the people I hurt, for that I apologize.

Since last week I have been wishing and praying for my death.

I sure hope it would be quick and painless, but I know deserve a slow and painful one.

I rarely fuck up, not that I am perfect or anything, I just try to avoid mistakes.

But when I do eventually fuck up, I do it big. For that I am sorry.

Recently I gambled with three lives one of which is mine. I lost the bet.

No one died during the process, I just know that the three of us will never be the same.

The value of what is considered priceless is unknown until it is lost.

And when I eventually lost, all I had left was hope and regret.

I hope I can redeem my self. I hope I would be forgiven. I hope I can fix what I broke.

I regret what I did. I wish it never happened. I should not have done it.

And for that I am very sorry.