Rasputin and the Empress

DISCLAIMER

ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS WORK ARE FICTITIOUS, ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL PERSONS, LIVING, DEAD, OR NON-KUWAITI, IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL, AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSTRUED!

Back when I had the time to read other blogs. Or give a shit to begin with. I saw many people who blogged about things! And this is not an attack on anyone. I do not have any specific person in mind. But isn't blogging about things depressing? By the time I finish reading, my IQ goes down!

And I always imagine they talk in CAPS!

TODAY I BOUGHT A BAG! IT IS PURPLE! IT HAS A THUNDERPUSSY KEY CHAIN THAT LOOKS CUTE. I LIKE THINGS. (and to be ultimately cool) IT IS NOT SOLD IN KUWAIT. I GOT IT FROM EBAY! YAAAAAAY!

So I end up getting pissed and wanting to break that blogger's face with the bag they bought. Not that I care. But those where the same jolly fucks who were happy THEY were voted person of the year on Time Person of The Year in 2006!

TODAY I WAS VOTED TIME PERSON OF THE YEAR! I AM HAPPY. I MADE A CHANGE. I AM PROUD! I ALSO BOUGHT A CUPCAKE TO CELEBRATE PERSON OF THE YEAR! IT IS NOT SOLD IN KUWAIT. I GOT IT FROM MARS. YAAAAAAY!

And I wanted to choke these bastards!

I also realized that there was a mini war on the side amongst those compulsive buyers!

Specimen A: TODAY I GOT A POOPTHING WITH BLUETOOTH MODEL 12G! I GOT IT STRAIGHT OUTTA WAFRA! YAAAAAY!

Specimen B: TODAY I GOT A POOPTHING WITH BLUETOOTH MODEL 13G! I GOT IT STRAIGHT OUTTA WAFRA! BUT IT HAS A BIGGER DICK THAN 12G! YAAAAAY!

Then who comes and settle the beef?

It's just another blogger who uses his excellent blog for marketing purposes. He likes things based on who pays him more!

Many Kuwaitis love taking advice from non Kuwaitis. Many of them have shit for brains and cannot make their own decisions! SO, to be trendy and unique, like a snowflake, they goto blondes and ask them to lay their wisdom upon thee!

Unfortunately, every snowflake is unique. So what makes snowflakes special? It is like bragging about having a unique thumbprint imprint!

Problem is they compulsively buy every piece of crap being thrown at them from that retard!

COKE OR PEPSI? BLACK OR WHITE!? XBOX OR PLAYSTATION? BOXERS OR BRIEFS? NATHARAT KAIFAN OR HASSAN'S OPTICIAN? ASNAN OR ALMAIDAN?! ME OR HIM? STRAIGHT OR GAY? DECIDE! PLEASE DECIDE!

TELL US PLEASE LAY YOUR WISDOM! And they do lay their wisdom. Only their wisdom is evil shit generated by greed.

I discovered that that person has better taste buds than all of us! They have a perfect taste in everything! They are the all knowing holy spirit brought to us from the heavens to make us, Kuwaitis, better human beings! So we can brag about our shit!

I will not eat anything they did not recommend!

I shall not wear anything they do not like!

I will not go anywhere they do not ask me to goto!

O MIGHTY BLOGGER LAY YOUR WISDOM ON ME! TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE TELL ME WHERE I BUY MY CRAP! HELP ME BUILD AN EMPIRE OF CHEAP THINGS THAT WOULD FULFILL ME WITH HAPPINESS AND COMPLETENESS? YAAAAAY.

INFACT, (even though I believe that a magic 8 ball would make better decisions than them), I WILL DO EVERYTHING HE TELLS ME, YAAAAAAY!

(Yay here is to be said in our prayers, instead of AMEN)

** Not to be mistaken with lil jon's signature YEAAH!

*** Very similar to Special Ed's retarded YAAAAAY!

**** Beware of the false messiah!

So I discussed that with a friend and he said, yakhi el Kuwaitiyeen laish 9aro taf'heen chethy? MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY!

But I do not mind, I mean I do not care really. In fact I couldn't care any less.

When you come to think of it! I am not pointing fingers aslan! And if you think that this post is about you it was not!

And now for our feature blog:

The above was an intro,

I just did not want to type what I am about to type and let readers think I am bragging about things like others! So here goes:

I just got me a pair of transition glasses. They turn into shades under direct sun and back to optical when indoors! However, I do not like the fact that I cannot make up my mind! One minute I am cool character from westside story with a fancy name like SODA POP or OTTO, the next I am a nerd shy of white tape on the middle!

What I like most is the ease of personality switch:

Example:

SUNNY:

Whistling, walking smoothly, and greeting everyone in the coolest way possible! Maybe singing some KID CUDI. Checking out asses and complimenting them. Chicks look back with a smile!

BAM CLOUDY:

Grams/Meter = (Length*Width*(MC/100)*0.958)/100

Funny aint it? I think so!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA