FUCK YOU GRANNY

Upon burying my aunt, I went to the funeral from Sulaibikhat. On Demascus, I got hit by an old lady. A lady driving a crown victoria bumped into my rear right side. I stopped.

Some chick in a mercedes gave me a snicker (the laugh not the chocolate al shaf7a), was it a form of support I do not know.

Thank you, if it was moral support. Fuck you if you were not.

So I got out my car. I looked at her. She goes: MATSHOF!

I asked her politely, what is it I did not see?

She said: You crashed into me!

How did I crash into you, I asked..

She goes I asked you to make way for me, I had my blinker on!

I haven't seen you because you were behind me incase you didn't notice.

No you made way!

How the hell would I make way had you been behind me?

YES THAT'S IT YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION!

Lady, it is your fault, I promise!

The old bitch looks at me saying: HOW IS IT MY FAULT! YOU WERE LOOKING STRAIGHT! IT'S YOUR FAULT.

So I say: Khalti, I am talking to you with respect. I am not in the mood for this crap, I just buried my Aunt and I want to make it to the Funeral.

BITCH goes: See you think just because you have problems the whole world should tolerate your negligence! I was driving I blinked the signal left, you weren't looking AND you crashed me!

This was when I started shaking. I went to my car, counted till 10. I still wannet to beat her up. So I just left the scene to protect her from me.

Problem was, my car had merely a scratch, hers too! So there was no harm! She just wanted the cops to come so I would "FIX" her car. Which is impossible since she was the one who crashed into me! I kept explaining she kept complaining. I asked her to see the "da3ma" she said "Ana Ma anzil mn sayarti"

Sometimes I wish I was a rapist to fuck those who need to get fucked!

***

She was wearing an LV pair of Sunglasses

If these characteristics fits a person you know. Please tell them FUCK YOU from the guy at Demascus St.

Though I think she was not married, if you happen to be her son/husband (though I do not think she was married) Please let us fist fight (white weapons allowed) - Honestly FUCK YOUR MOM/WIFE I will take you and two others. Drop me an email..

(E YAHEL)!

February, The Month of Soap!

Foam party.

The country with highest amount of lung issues and Asthma attacks is Kuwait.

That is one smart party.

It is like used condoms in the country with most HIV infection.

Very Smart.

Lung diseases, however, are spread all over Kuwait!

This might be due to many factors.

The over cluttering of cars.

The closeness of factory plants to the city.

Less environmental precautions.

Smoking, Freon, CFC, and god knows what.

And we party with Foam.

CFC filled Foam Cans

Very smart!

This is Kuwait.

Or as I say TIKBFK.

Never mind all that.

What pisses me off is the next couple of days.

The very people with lung infections will go around spraying foam at each other.

I am glad I got everything intact.

I am happy that I won't leave my home.

In its defense, a friend tried to compare Kuwait's National and Liberation days to La Tomatina.

Tomato Fight in Bunyol.

I say, Ma akhas men el marbo6 ela el miftilit.

If you consider Foam Wars uncivilized. Then take a look at La Tomatina in Spain!

I say them Spaniards are not civilized either. I even think it raises the bar creating a new Law.

What is worse than wasting money on foam dispensing tin cans is to throw "ni3mat allah" at each other.

As a matter of fact, I think I read some story about God's wrath that hit people who disrespected the gift of God, i.e. "Food".

I wish I would live to see how God responds to that La Tomatina, and I hope I die before I see what God is holding for us in Kuwait.

So they tell me, Maybe it is your in city experience.

Maybe you did not see the chalet thing.

How about both?

Or perhaps all..

Chalet, Camps, Gulf Road, anyone who holds a tin can and/or participates in this festivity in anyways possible (water balloons and water guns) is indeed Hailigi.

I, nonetheless, do enjoy the nomads during these festivities. They party with Hard. They party with rocks and limestone.

That is always fun to watch. Someone is bound to die. Death at parties is always fun, especially nomadic ones..

After all, how patriotic are you when your party theme for National & Liberty day is littering your own country?

WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO READ - PLEASE READ THIS!

I hate when a person considers eye contact a permit to talk.

I do not have that happy welcoming face to begin with.

I do not want to have anything to do with you.

I might not even want to look at your face.

I mean the occasional hello, how are you was a disaster!

You wouldn't believe what happened to day, ask me what, go on ask!

Then I am stuck for half an hour listening to some mindless shit nodding my head like I gave a piss.

Sure, it is easy to distract you, but you just won't forget.

You just won't quit!

Out of politeness I decided to drop ONLY the "how are you".

Little did I know, Hello was enough as it is!

Hello, I said, as I frolicked gently across the meadows.

(further adding charisma to both my wildness and finesse!)

But you caught me!

Hello! DID YOU HEAR ABOUT ETC, ETC, ETC!

SONOFASHESMA!

There is just no quitting in you is there?!

I often wished it was something worth hearing too!

It is probably about YOUR experience playing a video game, or YOUR trip to somewhere YOU thought was fun!

I am honestly not interested. AT ALL!

I mean, to some extent, I might develop a liking in your POV or experience playing a video game. My interest, however, dies when it is a Nintendo Wii game.

Let alone Mario Kart with level to level experience and obstacles faced.

It is like a synopsis with that guy!

I would rather poke my eardrums with a freaking fork than listening to your dumb stories!

Then I try to avoid you all together!

NO HELLO!

Just a smile and a nod!

That was when I discovered, that that's all it took for you to approach me and rape my ears with things I do not give a crap about!

I bought this T-Shirt! It is got superman on it! I love this T-shirt!

I say FUCK YOU, in my heart.

In reality, I smile and say NICE!

So I then decided to pay you no mind altogether!

Coldly passing by you playing with my phone..

Or rubbing my eyes!

BUT NO!

Like I said there is no quitting in you!

You stop me.

You talk!

Hey, you know where I'm going tomorrow? I'm going to Dubai! I am excited! I want to go skiing.

Well I hope you freeze to death!

HAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE FUNNY!

No honestly! you will fall and no one will help you and in the snow, you shall freeze to death. They won't even know because you would be covered in white!

Then you start crying!

Goto your mom.

Make a scene!

This is when it hit me; I need to be less cynical.

I need to learn how to communicate with a six year old!

Not that I care.

But when BABY cub goes tearing MAMA cougar goes RAWRING.

Especially after telling him that I used to beat his mom when we were his age.

The Correlation of Social Status Human Anatomy and Relativity of Time In Terms of Velocity: A Brief Study

ABSTRACT:

The correlation between (Hunter Gatherers) Rural Kuwait Natives and its relativity to Velocity and Time have often been undetermined, and neglected. In a series of random test taken over a period of two years I have discovered a Trend to it. My study indicated a 2.3 KM increase over the speed limit in every 3 KM distance away from the City.

INTRODUCTION:

My job requires me to move around quite a bit.

It consists of long drives to industrial areas such as Mina Abdullah, Mina Ahmadi, and Mina Shuaiba.

Living close to urbanized Kuwait City.

I am not used to rural areas.

Not that it is even remotely far, let alone rural.

However, for the sake of my differentiation, I shall use Rural to avoid confusion.

The further I drive Southwest, heading to Saudi Border, the faster people drive.

METHOD:

I drive 130 KM/hr, I therefore am, breaking an actual traffic law in Kuwait. Guilty.

Unfortunately, the further I travel Southwest, that is normal.

Driving close to speeding cars and comparing their speed to mind shows me the increase as apposed to the distance I travel away from City Center.

RESULTS:

In every 3 KM Distance away from City Center, there is a 2 KM increase in the average Speed.

Figure 1-1

DISCUSSION AND CONCLUSION:

It is apparent that the further you go away from City Center heading towards rural Areas there is a change of the social members of society.

This taken into perspective, I think there is a correlation between Social Structures and The Relativity of Time.

Which brings us to another Questions.

Why are Bidwan always in a hurry?

Is that a part of their anatomy?

Or was it implanted in their genes, being hunter-gatherers and what not.

The further I go down the Southwest, the faster they seem to drive.

My results show an apparent trend in speed, distance, and social culture.

This might be due to two reasons:

Either it is location and/or social classification of society, that mostly affects speed and distance. I propose conducting a thorough study comparing the difference of the time perception between Hunter-Gatherers (Nomads) and Stratified Society Members (US). The study will also reveal the correlation between the levels of velocity and aging.

REFERENCES:

King Fahad Road

Speedometer

Personal Observation

APPENDIX:

Raw data taken over the coarse of 2 years indicating speed and distance from city center on a high way road.

Distance City Center - Speed Limit - Actual Speed:

0-120-100

3-120-110

6-120-120

9-120-130

12-120-133

15-120-136

18-120-139

21-120-142

24-120-145

27-120-149

30-120-153

33-120-160

I will leave you with a video showing the type of craziness I have to deal early in the morning.

OK, it is not that bad, but that is the Far Southwest.

Brought to you by z7f online.

From Head Al Salmiya To Head Bnaid Al Gar!

A nonsmoker is forced to find food, but for a smoker breakfast can be a cigarette and a cup of bad coffee. Brock Fiant

I hate the fact that I quit smoking!

Not that I crave any.

But when you are used to a lifetime of ripped abs.

Oh well..

I need to lose 4 KG to be borderline normal.

I keep telling my self six.

My current aim is ten.

I now understand why fat people are fat.

They got no discipline.

FATTY FATTY BO BATTY

Just like I lost mine with not smoking.

I went to the Avenues today to watch my friend eat lunch while I drink black coffee.

Prior to reaching our restaurant, we passed by the athletes foot.

They had the new World Cup Jerseys.

I was psyched about the Nazi Jersey. (Germany).

I tried on the medium. He tried the large.

It took us 10 minutes to buy shorts and start jogging and power walking.

Until we got to Marina Mall.

The scenery was super shitty until we reached Bnaid al Gar.

Where Richie Rich meets extremism, whores, and dirt poor residents!

All blended in one big melting pot made of shattered dreams and damaged houses!

On the other hand,

Kuwait's seaside is beautiful!

I am aware that it have not been reconstructed or worked on since god-knows-when.

But the whole scenery and lay out is worth the visit!

It is also quiet where ever you went!

I even saw a couple dry humping!

No one gave a crap!

That is not to mention the dozens of people making out along the seaside belt.

Me, being me, either shouted, stared, and/or threatened!

Not that I care.

I just do not like indecent exposure!

Nor public display of affection!

Part of it was my super ego conquering me morally.

Another part was jealousy!

(The why not me factor)

No it was not that.

Them chicks were fugly son!

I am so proud to be a citizen of Kuwait where we have a beautiful seaside.

Lots of cats around Nayif Restaurant. (I literally mean cats)

And, for the first time, five straight months of beautiful weather.

(Skipping crappy cold and dry winters)

I feel like I am writing an intermediate essay.

I shall end this with a song that inspires my title and describes my trip.

The Look

I love it when a guy develops a way to look at people.

Do you work on developing that look in front of a mirror?

I enjoy watching guys staring at girls. (That sounded a bit queer).

Honestly though, I like "look counting".

Look Counting is when you count the number of looks guys make.

I apply that specifically when it comes to bird watching.

I truly think guys do it the most when it comes to the ladies.

The demise of my facebook back in 2008 was due to them and their cuteness.

Believe you me when a guy is cute it is gay.

Being cute is for Keanu Reeves, Fairies, fruits, and berries.

(Come to think of it, what's the difference?)

I came up with this statistical study:

45% Think Eye Squinting is sexy. (From where I'm sitting it looks like they are taking a shit).

30% Tilt their heads. (ya3ni cute?)

20% Ma 3ind omhom salfa.

5% Are crossed eyed. (Disgusting?)

All happen to be 100% douche. (Douche. That was so American and lame too).

I won't get into details but were you ever given a fake look that the looker thought it was sexy to give in the first place?

Dear Guys (with the look),

The moment you think that by looking at a damsel in a certain way would up your chances of winning her heart.

Please don't.

It won't.

Also, whatever happened to crossed eyed chicks!

Did they all suddenly become "7awra2"!

You are ducking 7ola, live with it!

I Am Sorry, But You Got To Go!

I do not make the rules.

I just follow them.

The code of ethics I live by is more than righteous.

(I earnestly believe it should be instated).

I shall not, however, force it upon anyone other than myself.

I shall not even dare to lobby it and/or create a cult out of it.

I am good at abiding the law.

I also do not see any harm in sharing my ideas.

Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.

Unfortunately, I have to humbly ask the public for a favor.

I sincerely hope readers would back me up with this one.

I ask from people to aid me out in enacting TWO little rules.

Please...

People.

Stuffed figures in automobiles are not cool!

Stuffed figures in automobiles are not cute!

Stuffed figures in automobiles should be criminalized!

I am not inconsiderate.

I make sense of the inane need for compensating your lost childhood.

What I do not comprehend is..

Why does it have to be in public?

Dear reader,

Having toys in public is like skipping in the mall!

It will only damage your public perception.

I cannot even begin expressing my hatred towards that segment of society.

I feel that any person with stuffed figures should have every hole in their body stuffed with the same material used in their figures.

Give them a taste of their own medicine.

How would you like to have every cavity, both dorsal and ventral, be stuffed with cotton, straws, beans, plastic pellets, and synthetic fibres?

I would very much be delighted to do so using my own bare hands.

Another shattered fragment of our lovely society that need action to be brought against them are the strass people.

That trend was cool in 2003, for about 15 minutes.

Then it almost instantaneously became an epic failure.

People took it as far as phones, cars, Ts, shoes, hats, and bags!

Strass should be illegal.

Any person caught with strass should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity.

Intent to piss off the public.

Kill the strass people.

Strass people should be hanged, drawn, and quartered!

As a matter of fact, I believe that we should personally start attacking those people.

I am for hate crimes against stuffed animals and strass!

Except ballers who use rubies as strass.

That type we need to respect.

(Money is Power)

Today was my first day technology free.

I never thought holding a regular cellphone would feel so retro!

Speaking of fish and dentists, is tartar sauce made of tartar on teeth?

That would be disgusting.

Fuck Fish.

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